I am still on the verge of learning and understanding not so trivial issues. A complex did take place in my head for not knowing but yes, not for long! my heart stood strong. What makes me happy in spite of not knowing much is, I still have a burning passion to know.
But, a question arises from the heart. And not to forget, I listen to my heart only when everybody else stops listening to me. Sad! During one of the depressed moments, It asks me with a bellow, "do you really think that you are unaware?" Have not you heard of the wise saying, Fools only talk and empty vessels make noise? why do you get intimidated?" But my head contradicts saying," Look at their flow of thoughts, their words. By the time I think, I see them standing upright for what they feel. My eyes then intrude. This is it! The eyes give me an answer and I am liberated, at least for that one moment. they say ,belle! I have just shown you a sight. Its on your head to discover the insight!
Luckily, for once my head listens to the heart. But as heads are famous for, one side of it needs logical explanation. From that very moment, when the head loses its battle with the heart and the eyes, it starts exploring to find every reason to prove them wrong! Head strongly believes in "Seeing is believing. And that is what the rest of the people do. So in order get noticed, taking a stand becomes important." So important that the head stops seeing the unseen. The one who are vocally strong and are preferred by the preferred seem to be the ones KNOWING IT ALL!
What made the head see the unseen? Was it a spiritual experience? Something marvelous discovered in the caves? Well, the head did not physically go to these places, but felt much bigger and powerful reading just few lines of a writer, Vinita Dawra Nangia, a Sunday times' writer. All my questions are answered with these few lines,
" If you have participated in a discourse on philosophical or spiritual issues in the day, had a heated discussion on the state of the nation, or stood vigil in the sun while Anna fasted, you feel you have done your bit and are a worthwhile cog in the wheel of life. Some others may get the same feeling after reading a good book or watching a movie that leaves them with some worthwhile thoughts and questions." My moment of liberation! I do not know anything about her. But she was a timely help to my head!
It took me twenty two years to understand that people who stand strong can be the most feeble. And the liberated souls can be belittled. Wisdom is , discovering those from the people suffering from bathos. Ask those who spend months and years in prison for heinous crimes, WHICH THEY HAVE NOT COMMITED. The Raymond Daniel Towlers , the Iftikhar Gilanis, and the ones still fighting for freedom. Towler says, " Nothing is free. Not even freedom". The system has proven to be anti- justice to them. Yet they remain humble and composed. Often, souls like these do not strongly impose ideas, instead are level- headed, Following their chosen path with silence speaking louder. I am convinced that being verbal and projecting ALL THAT YOU KNOW is not what is needed to make a change. Working towards it matters. Truth lies in them. These are the people who fought for something and stood strong. Not the ones, who only speak to have a unique idea and fail to understand that they are suffering from a contagious disease called " Bathos".
ALBERT EINSTEIN makes me even happier by saying that, "Imagination is more important than knowledge, for knowledge is limited but imagination encircles the world". I have started differntiating the souls who imagine and are Seeking for knowledge, unlike the people who prefer the trivial notions of the preferred.
Lord! May the wise arise and mellow the bellow of the bathos!
But, a question arises from the heart. And not to forget, I listen to my heart only when everybody else stops listening to me. Sad! During one of the depressed moments, It asks me with a bellow, "do you really think that you are unaware?" Have not you heard of the wise saying, Fools only talk and empty vessels make noise? why do you get intimidated?" But my head contradicts saying," Look at their flow of thoughts, their words. By the time I think, I see them standing upright for what they feel. My eyes then intrude. This is it! The eyes give me an answer and I am liberated, at least for that one moment. they say ,belle! I have just shown you a sight. Its on your head to discover the insight!
Luckily, for once my head listens to the heart. But as heads are famous for, one side of it needs logical explanation. From that very moment, when the head loses its battle with the heart and the eyes, it starts exploring to find every reason to prove them wrong! Head strongly believes in "Seeing is believing. And that is what the rest of the people do. So in order get noticed, taking a stand becomes important." So important that the head stops seeing the unseen. The one who are vocally strong and are preferred by the preferred seem to be the ones KNOWING IT ALL!
What made the head see the unseen? Was it a spiritual experience? Something marvelous discovered in the caves? Well, the head did not physically go to these places, but felt much bigger and powerful reading just few lines of a writer, Vinita Dawra Nangia, a Sunday times' writer. All my questions are answered with these few lines,
" If you have participated in a discourse on philosophical or spiritual issues in the day, had a heated discussion on the state of the nation, or stood vigil in the sun while Anna fasted, you feel you have done your bit and are a worthwhile cog in the wheel of life. Some others may get the same feeling after reading a good book or watching a movie that leaves them with some worthwhile thoughts and questions." My moment of liberation! I do not know anything about her. But she was a timely help to my head!
It took me twenty two years to understand that people who stand strong can be the most feeble. And the liberated souls can be belittled. Wisdom is , discovering those from the people suffering from bathos. Ask those who spend months and years in prison for heinous crimes, WHICH THEY HAVE NOT COMMITED. The Raymond Daniel Towlers , the Iftikhar Gilanis, and the ones still fighting for freedom. Towler says, " Nothing is free. Not even freedom". The system has proven to be anti- justice to them. Yet they remain humble and composed. Often, souls like these do not strongly impose ideas, instead are level- headed, Following their chosen path with silence speaking louder. I am convinced that being verbal and projecting ALL THAT YOU KNOW is not what is needed to make a change. Working towards it matters. Truth lies in them. These are the people who fought for something and stood strong. Not the ones, who only speak to have a unique idea and fail to understand that they are suffering from a contagious disease called " Bathos".
ALBERT EINSTEIN makes me even happier by saying that, "Imagination is more important than knowledge, for knowledge is limited but imagination encircles the world". I have started differntiating the souls who imagine and are Seeking for knowledge, unlike the people who prefer the trivial notions of the preferred.
Lord! May the wise arise and mellow the bellow of the bathos!
It has been really long since I have spoken something confidently.Facing the class debates and discussions have become a pain,a mere pain.The sweat glands start working at their best at times when I am asked of my opinion on something.Forget about the presentations that I have to do on the regular basis,I am at a fix when people ask me the simplest of questions like what kind of food or clothes I like.I feel nervous when I have to make decisions.
So long I thought that this was because I did not know so many things I ought to know.But now it feels like I should not have known a lot of things that I know.Reading books on growing your personality,on winning,on having ambitions have inculcated so much of passion and excitement that now I go through a tough phase on losing even the smallest of battle.It feels like as if each and every part of my body wants to win and only win.Winning has become a primary goal,A NECESSITY.In this growing attitude of winning, I have stopped living.Every situation of mine makes me feel like as if I am being judged.
I was much contented and happy before when i was unaware of issues that I hardly thought existed .Now, the more I try getting a clear picture,the more I am left with confusions.The more I convince myself to feel that the world is a beautiful place to live in,the more I am confronted with its ugliness and bias.
I feel strange to my own self.I did ,at one point of time question everything I felt was wrong but now I do not really know what is wrong and what to believe in.I am tired.Now,I sure know that life is not a bed of roses.
To relax and re activate myself from these not so positive thoughts I go back to my family and friends.I get all cheerful and happy.But they again take me back to the world of questioning how the society is.They make me isolate myself from them and my own self even more.
I somehow feel that I will for sure get my answers some day.I definitely will frame my own opinions on issues of public interest and intelligence.And that day I' ll publish another post to let you know that yes,life is to dis-cover,to experience.
Until then I will shut myself from this illusion called people.I here after have stopped giving vain full attempts of trying to make friends or relationship out of self-centered people who are so in-secured,so confused,running behind people to show the same people that they are powerful and influential.I am in constant search for a place,for a feeling that is eternal and real.I hope to find it and help a lot more like me trying to get their questions right!!!!!!
